Dealing with grief.

I guess you will realise that i have not blogged in some time.

Well some may realise that my father had terminal cancer.

I was with him in his last 5 days of life helping with the personal care he needed.

It was not nice and i never let myself see him as a dying man.

I still took the mick out of him and still smacked his head.

The last 2 days of his life were the worst, i cannot believe that he was given 6 to 12 months and was gone in just over 4.

Myself, me mum, sisters, their partners, his gf, and other friends were there when he passed away.

It was the worst thing i had ever seen, i have seen other people die in the care jobs i have done.

But my own dad who i only just got to know was just awful.

My family have taken it hard.

I did cry then kept it all together during his funeral.

It was the most amazing funeral i had ever seen and a mass turnout, we did my dad proud.

A few days later we scattered his ashes in the river that he loved.

It was a lovely day.


Now is the time where i must try to move on from it as i want to get back to ome normality, but i get a lil sad and start to think about my dad when i should remember him in better times not the worst.


I think as i start making plans and try to enjoy life like my dad wanted me to, i will get there.

Any ideas on how maybe better to cope?

WHAT DO WE WANT OUT OF LIFE AND IN THE FUTURE?

I know that many people have typed up blogs on dreams, so i wanted just ask 2 questions and i thought i would tell you about what i want and what i want for my future.


WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE................

A quiet one (lol).

Have children of my own. 1 or 2.

Enjoy and embrace the friendships i have, WITH MY FRIENDS, see them more.

Deal better with my family and cope better with them. Now and in the future.

Working for all the material things i will want.

To clear all my debts and start afresh, getting everyone and companies off my case.

To start my businesses working well and making a profit from them.



MY FUTURE.............

A better life than what i have had so far.

To improve and be a better, stronger, more confident lady.


To improve mentally and physically.

I had to make those points clear.

And to be a better writer and create interesting articles for Scarlet Magazine and stories.



So i ask my followers and readers what you would like from life and what you would like in your future, maybe your future you.

THE NEED FOR CHANGE.

FOR THOSE WHO KNOW ME.

In recent years and months i have not always had the best times in my life and things have not always gone right.
I turned to those whom i thought i could trust with aspects of my life.

Seems that what you tell one person, they soon go and tell on you.

No way can one put up with that.

So you ask yourself questions.............

"Do i wanna be like the other sad individuals?"

"do i want to get rid of things causing me problems?"

"Do i want to be around people who will be a better influence?"

THE MAIN QUESTION....................

"Is it time for change?"


Well i want to be better than the other sados i had mixed with before.

I want to get rid of problems, debts, friends that are not worth being around, and find better ways of dealing with any stress.

So in conclusion, yes its time for change and change does you good.

Sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone to do it.

But in doing this, it's exciting.


Im ready for BIG changes, ARE YOU?

PRO ANA.

PRO ANA.
Is......
The promotion of ANOREXIA NERVOSA as a lifestyle choice, Rather than an EATING DISORDER.

A lesser known term is PRO MIA refers likewise to BULIMIA NERVOSA. Sometimes interchangeably used with PRO ANA.

There are websites and forums promoting PRO ANA.
They show you real ideas and hints on how to be extremely sick.
They swap pictures for ideas too.
Its discusting!

THIS IS ALL FCKING DISTURBING AND UPSETTING.

Social networks such as Facebook, Myspace, Xanga, Bebo, and many other related sites also promote the so called support for the illness more than the sufferers.

Members of the internet groups share..... Tips and techniques on crash dieting, compete with each other to lose weight, advise on how to induce vomiting, tips on hiding the severe weight loss from friends and family, and suggestions on ways to ignore hunger pangs.


I checked with all kinds of doctors and websites to see if i got my facts right before creating this blog, its something close to my heart as a former sufferer. Im not proud of it.

But im trully not impressed that groups are still ongoing.

And do remember that males/boys also have this condition too and not to stereo type it.
As anorexia is well known to have more girls/women having it.


I wonder what my followers think of my comments and feelings on the subject.

Crossdressing/transvestism

Those of you who know me and follow a blog i added to my site http://togetherasone.ning.com/ will know that i am discussing interesting reasons why man and women do this.

Like i said they are not the reasons that we think.


Some people say its something they feel comfortable doing, some say they were born inthe wrong body, a feeling of safety.


But a friend showed me another reason and i got to say i was very shocked let alone emotional that i was trusted with such information.

It seems that events in ones past can be another cause.

Can u believe this tho.

I have to ask anyone who will see this blog what their thoughts are on this taboo subject.

First Blog - Carry On Films.

This is the first of many and i hope that all who read them will enjoy.

I do have a lot to say and i will be adding links as i go along.


i DO JUST ADORE the Carry On Movies and have so many that i love.


Carry On......
CAMPING
DICK
MATRON
ABROAD
EMMANNUELLE
GIRLS
TEACHER
AT YOUR CONVENIENCE

I love all the actors and have been lucky to have some of them as friends

The creators of a classic band of films, Peter Rogers and Gerald Thomas were a formidable force in the making of the films and did a great job in making them even tho the finance side may of been tight.

But thanks to the likes of dvds and channels like gold we can still enjoy them